Monster to Monster, a poem

Monster to Monster

I did you a favor
to let you go, to push you away,

to release you. You were too conscious
to be my mate. I need someone

who doesn’t think so much,
who is impervious to my suffering.

Even with someone like that,
I feel I am too painful to be borne.

It is a bigger thing than both of us
being monsters. The words I write

are my gift to you, the only thing
I can possibly give now. I took

so much, I have to give something
back. Even if I am a monster,

do you think that means I don’t
suffer when contemplating

my monstrosity? You think because
I did not stay, I did not love.

I loved as much as any wounded
creature can. I loved as much

as a woman without a whole heart
can love. I loved you in my way,

the only way I have.