Category Archives: winter

Enlightenment, a very short story

illustration 5 enlightenment

Enlightenment, a very short story

He felt awake when he saw her sitting at the bar, as though all his previous life had been a slow, lazy dream.  She looked like a girl from one of those sex shops in Amsterdam, wholesome and perverted at the same time.  Her hair was perfectly straight and hung down her back to her waist. Her forehead was a smooth, wide dome of innocence.  Her flesh was abundant, stark white and glowing, spilling slightly over the waist of her leather skirt.  Baby fat.  He could tell she’d outgrow it.  Regeneration was her game.

She said, “I prefer to travel alone, no fluff or chatter.”   She spoke of the outer and inner journey.  She didn’t know which was the more important.  “I am my own  mysterious stranger,” she said.

When they got back to her room, he saw how her bed was opposite a huge fireplace, black; it felt like ghosts were everywhere, but especially in the fireplace, coming down the chimney. The wind made sounds around the eaves and windows, such a big wind, it was spring but the wind was fierce and strong. Her room scared him, he would rather have been anywhere else. But he couldn’t leave, the girl was already undressing on the bed.  She looked at him from under her fall of hair.  The now-naked girl lay back on the pillows and smiled.  He felt as awake as the Buddha under the bodhi tree.

 

1 Comment

Filed under beauty, compassion, enlightenment, fiction, identity, karma, love, man, men, mysterious, redhead, relationships, sex, short stories, soul, truth, universe, warmth, winter, woman, women, youth

Crocuses, a poem

illustration crocuses

Crocuses, a poem

 

I.  Signs of Spring

Suddenly, there they were by the front door,

and at my son’s preschool — purple and yellow

and green, poking through the snow

like small erections, out of the body of the earth,

the earth’s slumbering winter body.

My husband was always at work then,

they, the flowers, were my best companions.

“God is!” they said. “We’re God’s greatest effort,” they said,

“We’re God’s peeping blooms, despair must go to sleep,

and all creatures must go out of their lairs to frolic.”

My husband did not feel the urge.

 

II.  The Mole

Such loneliness I had battled all winter!

I made chicken, hot crescent rolls,

and buttered beans to make us happy,

but my husband was never hungry.

Lots of things took his appetite clean away.

I hadn’t scrubbed the toilet in two weeks,

this distressed him, he was a stern master.

The crocuses were so calm and forgiving,

purple and yellow like bruises;

my husband inflicted bruises without knowing.

He could not see, or did not want to.

His face lit up upon our child, that was all.

He was too important to sweep, or dust, or scrub.

I was the babysitter. I was happy with the crocuses,

and then one day, a dead mole; my son didn’t know

what dead meant, so I had to explain it.

He petted the soft fur, wanted to snuggle it

to his cheek. We paid homage to the mole.

We buried it under the snow, amid the crocuses.

 

III.   Troubling Questions

My husband didn’t know the bruises he left behind;

the flowers were my trusted companions.

His face lit up, gazing upon his son,

his finest possession; my husband would jerk him

away from me, hate in his eyes, when the crying boy

awoke in the night. The crocuses poked their heads out,

asking questions I couldn’t answer. My husband

didn’t want to see the bruises, or he was colorblind.

He was too important to notice the marks.

The crocuses asked, “Where is pleasure?”

“Not here,” I said. “Maybe next door?”

 

IV.  The Body’s Lament

The earth’s body was waking up,

but mine wasn’t, my husband was too important

to worry about my body. The head of his penis

was purple like the crocuses, but it asked no questions.

His body was warm, but not for me:

for the pure idea of sex, the attractive notion.

He wanted a thinner, more charming woman

with a better degree, one who would clean the house

more often, and with a smile.

Oh, he wanted a warm, dark place to set

himself, but one with no conversation.

As I put away the winter wools, the smell of mothballs,

white, crystalline like snow, inflamed my fears.

When the rest of spring arrived,

the warm air did not ease the tightness,

the block of ice around my heart.

2 Comments

Filed under beauty, compassion, earth, eternal, eternity, father, flowers, god, health, heart, identity, kindness, life, love, man, marriage, maturity, men, mother, mysterious, nature, relationships, sex, soul, spirit, spring, warmth, winter, woman, women