“We in the Western world suffer from too many categories and classes; we’ve forgotten that we all still have diapers on. We’ve separated music from life.” – Ornette Coleman
“When, alone amid words, we are unable to communicate the slightest vibration to them, when they seem to us as dry, as degraded as ourselves, when the mind’s silence is heavier than that of objects, we descend to the point where the dread of our inhumanity lays hold of us. Adrift, far from the evident, we suffer suddenly that horror of language which hurls us into silence—an instant of vertigo in which poetry alone can console us for the momentary loss of our certainties and our doubts.”
Sitting in the living room next to the indoor fish pond. Watching the tiny swordfish jump up the miniature rock waterfall, knowing and empathizing with their drive to go somewhere farther along, somewhere even unknown, somewhere presently unattainable.
Sitting on the floor next to the black Naugahyde, Father-Knows-Best chair and matching ottoman, which no one actually ever sat in, as if knowing we were not worthy occupants. Wanting a father badly, asking my stepfather if I could call him Daddy. My mother made me ask him myself, but I wanted her to ask him for me!
They married when I was four, then went away to New York City – actually the Dick Van Dyke show suburb of New Rochelle – for a year, while I lived with my grandmother. My mother worked as an “executive” secretary for Norelco, and every time I saw the commercial with Santa riding the Norelco razor down the snowbank I swelled with pride.
I started kindergarten at four, Catholic school. Nursery school, kindergarten, and first grade with the Catholics. They say if they have you until age seven, they have you for life. Saint Teresa for Halloween! I came home, told Mommy I couldn’t wait to die and go to Heaven, so I could be with Jesus; pictures of Jesus taped to the headboard of my four-poster bed. Mommy said, “That’s enough Catholic school!” So public school for second grade.
Loving the families shown in black-and-white on TV, where the biggest problem was fighting over your curfew, getting a bad grade on a test, not being allowed to go to some party where, in the end, father knew best because some kids got in a car wreck either on the way there, or after.
Having a kitchen where there were no roaches living in the toaster, or the silverware drawer. Where I could ask my mother for advice, and not have it be wrong, not have it break my heart. Dreaming of and longing for a life of being saved and shepherded by your parents, like on TV. Trusting their wisdom. I wanted to trust mine.
1) What is something people might be surprised to learn about you? I’m not sure anything about me would surprise anybody. They expect me to be “eccentric.”
2) What is a memory you have from third grade? Having a crush on both a boy, and a girl.
3) Do you play any musical instruments, if so, what? I played the zither, tried to play the piano, tried to play the guitar, tried to play the recorder, tried to take voice lessons, and tried to play the banjo.
4) Have you had your 15 minutes of fame? If I did, it wasn’t very memorable.
5) Have you ever met someone famous? Yes. But I’m no name dropper.
6) I feel the most beautiful when I ___________. I am sparkling clean and smell good.
7) What’s something you hope will never come back in style? Leisure suits.
8) What song reminds you of your high school years? “Come Sail Away”
9) Did you graduate from college, if so, what was your degree? B.S. in Psychology, and a J.D.
10) If you could eat one dish for the rest of your life, what would it be? Chocolate!
Kimberly Townsend Palmer 