Tag Archives: angels

She Hates Numbers

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i have a high “negative capability”

illustration angels negative capability

i have a high “negative capability.”

“Negative capability describes the capacity of human beings to transcend and revise their contexts. The term has been used by poets and philosophers to describe the ability of the individual to perceive, think, and operate beyond any presupposition of a predetermined capacity of the human being. It further captures the rejection of the constraints of any context, and the ability to experience phenomena free from epistemological bounds, as well as to assert one’s own will and individuality upon their activity. The term was first used by the Romantic poet John Keats to critique those who sought to categorize all experience and phenomena and turn them into a theory of knowledge. It has recently been appropriated by philosopher and social theorist Roberto Mangabeira Unger to comment on human nature and to explain how human beings innovate and resist within confining social contexts. The concept has also inspired psychoanalytic practices and twentieth-century art and literary criticism.”

uh, i know that’s a mouthful. but it’s really accurate if you can bear to wade through all those long, long words!!!

for me, it was just a survival skill, really. how else does a fast racehorse survive being used only as a mule? what some people cannot see is that those in their lives were sent to help them heal.  sometimes, there are angels in our presence, and we can’t see it. the minute we do, we know exactly what to do.  this is what love looks like.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7
New International Version (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

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my little brother was born on june 12, 1971, in fort lauderdale, florida, at holy cross hospital

100_0793chris with billfishchris and me 2724 uncle worthy slide from judi

so, my little brother’s birthday is today. he would be turning 42, if he hadn’t passed away from me & this world at just 37. i miss him every single day. every. single. day. but even more on sundays & holidays, anniversaries & birthdays. he always made time for me; he actually & literally saved my life after i got divorced for the second time & he moved in with me, coming up to gainesville from the keys. he loved the sea, yet for me he moved inland, as he had once before when he gave everything he had of himself to his wife and she wanted to move to from fort lauderdale to atlanta (unfortunately they divorced years before he passed away). he was one of the sweetest, kindest, most compassionate people i have ever known. he was an angel child & i learned a lot about parenting from him, being his big sister by 10 & 1/2 years. i hope everyone who ever knew or loved him thinks kindly of him today. he was so scared of getting his hair washed; that was my job, bathing him at night. we developed a method of rinsing the shampoo out that worked, and he was the cutest little frogman playing in that tub of suds! what a person he was! how much he taught me about love, and living! and, somewhere where i cannot yet completely see or hear him, i know he still IS. my baby brother was a real, genuine MAN.

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